Tuesday, July 18, 2017


Lizard people

"Dad, the lizard people are staring at Timmy again." Elle pointed outside. Timmy was playing under the azaleas. Across the street the lizard family stood in their living room, pressed up against the window.

"Lassie! Is Timmy in trouble?"

"Dad. Don't do that."

"They're not staring at Timmy. They are just looking out at the world with wild surmise, or something. They are to be wondered at, not feared."

"If you really feel that way," Elle said, "invite them over for dinner."

Her father took out his phone. "Good idea! I'm glad you're feeling so open-minded."

Elle face palmed. "Dad, no! I was joking. Sarcasm, you know? Don't invite them over! They'll eat Timmy, or ... have bad table manners." She hated it when Dad rolled his eyes.


Elle was on Facebook when she heard the doorbell. She looked out the window: the lizard people were at the front door! She started typing furiously.

"Elle! Dinner!" The lizard people were already at the dining room table when she came downstairs. Elle sat across from the older lizard kid. She said her name was Mary Sue.

"Pleased to meet you," Elle gritted out.

"Would you like some broccoli?" Elle's mother offered a bowl of broccoli and cheese sauce to the lizard woman.

"Of course she doesn't, Mom," Elle hissed. "Lizards are purely carnivorous."

"Excuse me," the lizard woman said, "that's not strictly true. Many of our relatives subsist exclusively on fruits or vegetables. But broccoli gives me gas."

And so it went. Elle's father prattled on about harmony between human and lizard kind and how we would have so much to learn from each other. Timmy and the lizard boy both played with their food. Elle asked to be excused as soon as she dared. Her mother "invited" Mary Sue to go with her to her room. It was better than staying.

Elle didn't usually have anyone in her room. Most of her friends, even the ones who lived in town, only saw each other on social media. So her room was a little... messy, even for a teenage girl.

"Sorry about the mess," she mumbled.

"No problem," Mary Sue said. "Sorry your mom made you bring me up here." Elle shrugged. Then Mary Sue's eyes went wide. "Green Day! A poster? Is it signed!?" She clasped her hands over her heart.

"My cousin snuck me in. She works security at the Civic Center. It was awesome!." Maybe this was going to be all right. "You guys don't... eat people or anything, do you?"

"Never anyone we know personally."

Publ. Daily Cabal 2010

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