Egg
salad surgery
Ever
since being struck by lightning the Mad Scientist had been plagued by
the scent of egg salad. “Which wouldn't be so bad,” he muttered
to himself, “if I didn't loathe egg salad.” To top it all off,
after risking his life in the storm he hadn't been able to revive
Igor after all. The hunchback made a really terrible zombie. (He
had been kind of clumsy and slow of mind in life, and those things
were not improved after death. In fact, it was said that only the
sense of smell became more acute for zombies.) All of this made the
stench of egg salad that much harder to take.
Do
it yourself brain surgery on others was one thing, but the Mad
Scientist had never tried it on himself before. His aim was to
manipulate the nerves in the olfactory center so that egg salad
smelled like, say, an avocado sushi roll. Or pepperoni and sausage
pizza. It didn't really matter as long as it was a pleasant aroma.
Using a waldo was too crude; he had to culture and then guide the
evolution of surgical nanobots that would navigate the fluid
surrounding and cushioning the nerves in his brain, snipping some
connections and encouraging the growth of others. Fortunately, this
was not difficult.
The
nano-surgery complete, he unwrapped his nose. All that remained of
his tiny army was a drop of milky fluid on a glass dish. He took a
hesitant sniff – fried liver. He shuddered and stifled his gag
reflex. What were the odds? The food he hated nearly as much as egg
salad, and he was stuck with it day and night. Unless he wanted to
launch another expedition into his brain.
"Oh
man, this stinks!"
"Tell
me about it, Master."
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