Friday, June 9, 2017


Jack in the Land of Giants

He climbed up. You know the story: turns out you can walk on clouds. Who knew? But the story you've heard gets the next part wrong. He saw the giants' sheep from a long way off. Up close he realized one of their hooves was big enough to put him through the cloud. No matter, didn't want to steal sheep anyway.

Slid right under the door (must be a pain to heat, and drafty). Found himself in a one-room cabin more primitive than his mother's house. The shepherdess was home, looking not a day over 17. Her size ZZZ breasts were something to behold, and from Jack's perspective it was clear she didn't own any underwear. She was fine, but when he thought about kissing that mouth, that red cleft that could suck him in like a grape, his blood started flowing back into his brain where it belonged.

This was starting to look like a quick smash and grab (without the smash, since even a needle here was almost as big as Jack). He found a penny on the floor but it weighed about 20 pounds. What does a poor shepherd, of any size, have for a young boy to steal?

He ate well, once he figured out how to get to the table top (the curtains came in handy). A meal of cheese, black bread, and mutton really satisfied. Jack and his mother had been living on onions for so long, this fare made the shepherd's hut seem like Heaven. Jack started thinking he ought to move in. After all, they didn't own a cat. However, as the sun started to set and the giants went to bed, the mice came out.

If Jack hadn't found that needle, well, they might have made an end of him. They quickly learned to beware the needle's point, but Jack got no sleep at all. He snuck out, ignominiously, about dawn, taking only the needle, a chunk of cheese the size of his head, and wistful memories of a 60 foot woman.

The end

Prev. Publ. In The Simian Transcript (book), 2010.

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