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First they came for the dog food, and I wasn't worried, because I didn't have a dog. Then they came for the dog treats, and dog toys. I still wasn't concerned. Next they came for the squirrels, but mighty few of us care about squirrels. Then they came for the dog owners, and I was a bit put out, cos my mother owned a dog. They came one last time. I caught two of them sawing through the base of a fire hydrant, right in front of my building. They looked weird, unearthly, and vaguely like hyenas (if hyenas had 8 legs and pink fur).

"Hey," I shouted, "where y'all from?"

"Sirius," the big one replied.

I should've known.