012220

I am much tidier than my wife


I am much tidier than my wife
I can see the surface of my desk, usually
I can always find my stuff
Because everything has its place
And I always put it there
Of course, my glasses have three places
Sometimes four
And a few things don't have a place
Which explains my desk
And the floor of my closet
But still, I am much tidier than my wife
I only have one room full of junk
And half of that room is books
Which are in alphabetical order
At least some of them are
But still, she has three rooms
I can't find anything in them
Whereas I just have one room
Plus my office at work, of course
And my lab, and storage room
I used to have four rooms there
But now I just don't have the energy
Even though I am much tidier than my wife
It's a wonder that we ever find anything
But no surprise that when we do find something
We find three open jars of marinade
And two of salsa
And five open packages of lunch meat
Guess we'd better start eating some of that stuff
Because tomorrow I go to the grocery store



Not just a true story. The true horror may not yet be revealed; the world is not ready.