111322d

The first living things on Earth were single-celled anaerobic bacteria. Their Glory Days were nearly 4 billion years ago. Anaerobic, you say? That means they don't use oxygen. They grew up without any oxygen around them, and they can't stand it. Worse than that song you can't get out of your head for days and days. Anyway, they lived on the bottom of the sea, and maybe in freshwater, or even damp areas, and they loved it. About all bacteria can do is eat and reproduce, but they don't need any more out of life than that. Except some pesky individuals, troublemakers, would mutate from time to time, and on one dark day (actually it may have been a sunny day), a bacterium learned how to use sunlight to get fuel. This was great, because the sun is everywhere and light is free, except for one thing. These critters pooped oxygen. Oxygen is an aggressive molecule that likes to bind with other elements to make new molecules, such as water, but it is also deadly poison to anyone who's not used to it. that's right, the anaerobes would have fought bravely if they had been self-aware, but they were not. They were beaten back and beaten back until now they only live in secret places where oxygen can't get at them. These are places we don't usually go, because we are addicted to oxygen. So, the first known mass extinction happened when the cyanobacteria, once known as blue-green algae, wiped out most of their neighbors.

algae spewed
the first air pollution
trillions dead



Probably neither the first nor the last paleontological haibun.