022420b

kids put sleeping pills
in Santa's glass of milk
Daddy all along

122519

Santa's last stand
against the rising sea
the flooded workshops
foundering into liquified permafrost
and all the world leaders
who did nothing while the world stewed
they'll find 3-day-old fish
in their stinking Xmas stockings
cos the coal is gone

121719

Santa floats down the few chimneys that remain. Elsewhere he jimmie's windows, oozes under doors. He carries a 3D printer on his back, festively red and green. The elves shiver in their picket lines.

122617

elves slink back to their dens

the darkened workshop
home to ice roaches

when the ice cap breaks
they'll be out of luck
for 100,000 years

122517c

Christmas in the New World

Santa

a reanimated corpsicle

reindeer fertilized GMOva

VTOL sleigh

presents like you wouldn’t believe

122517

Santa in the time of warming

Santa checked his list a second time. Cargo on board, ship sealed, launch tube filled with water, pressure equalized. He was off.

As it cleared the sea surface, Santa's sleigh sprouted wings. Powerful engines coughed to life and plasma kissed the frigid Arctic water.

"Look ma! It's a flying fish!" "It's a plane!" "It's Santa Claus! " "Hush, children. Chew your blubber."

Acceleration pegged, he's fast. Damn fast. Actually, they call him the streak. You gotta admire his physique.

Santa fired up the Chronotron when he hit cruising altitude. Psychedelic colors out the wazoo. His sleigh fugued. S l e i g h s. T o y s t o o.

2048 Santas disbursed toys with manic speed. But for every stocking filled, 1.17 babies gave out their first cries.

10,000 elves worked for Polar Enterprises. World population growth had forced Santa into an "arms" race he could not win. Corners were cut.

"DaAaaAaD! Santa left me a game console carved from a bar of soap!" "Wadja expect for free?"

Presents rattled down the chimney. "Ho ho ho" blue-shifted into the supersonic shattered windows and the fish tank. "Sorry," drifted down.

Genevieve tore open the white package, ensanguined in the red-litten den."You shouldn't have!" Whips and cuffs: just what she'd asked for.

Unidentified blip, fighters scrambled, just after pilots smoked surprise holiday presents.

The jet fighters, their hash-powered pilots drifting in and out of consciousness, lost the rocket in a mysterious polar fog.

Plunging into the Arctic Ocean as dawn broke, Santa had one last gift in the back. Mrs. Claus did look good in Victoria's Secret. Ho ho ho!

end

122417c -- Merry Christmas

rapping on the housetop

Dad touches off the fire

in its den by the hearth

tomorrow we’ll buy

a new deep freeze

for now they’ll keep in the snow

121517c

Eight tiny reindeer. Barely enough to go around when all the children visit. Santa makes a note to schedule interviews for a new team.

081217

Santa in the time of warming

Santa checked his list a second time. Cargo on board, ship sealed, launch tube filled with water, pressure equalized. He was off.

As it cleared the sea surface, Santa's sleigh sprouted wings. Powerful engines coughed to life and plasma kissed the frigid Arctic water.

"Look ma! It's a flying fish!" "It's a plane!" "It's Santa Claus! " "Hush, children. Chew your blubber."

Acceleration pegged, he's fast. Damn fast. Actually, they call him the streak. You gotta admire his physique.

Santa fired up the Chronotron when he hit cruising altitude. Psychedelic colors out the wazoo. His sleigh fugued. S l e i g h s. T o y s t o o.

2048 Santas disbursed toys with manic speed. But for every stocking filled, 1.17 babies gave out their first cries.

10,000 elves worked for Polar Enterprises. World population growth had forced Santa into an "arms" race he could not win. Corners were cut.

"DaAaaAaD! Santa left me a game console carved from a bar of soap!" "Wadja expect for free?"

Presents rattled down the chimney. "Ho ho ho" blue-shifted into the supersonic shattered windows and the fish tank. "Sorry," drifted down.

Genevieve tore open the white package, ensanguined in the red-litten den."You shouldn't have!" Whips and cuffs: just what she'd asked for.

Unidentified blip, fighters scrambled, just after pilots smoked surprise holiday presents.

The jet fighters, their hash-powered pilots drifting in and out of consciousness, lost the rocket in a mysterious polar fog.

Plunging into the Arctic Ocean as dawn broke, Santa had one last gift in the back. Mrs. Claus did look good in Victoria's Secret. Ho ho ho!

Publ. Daily Cabal 2010

122115b

All I want for Xmas is my old climate back


76F here for Xmas day
better roof-runner traction
on warm tar than snow

too bad Arctic ice melting
dropped Santa's workshop
in the drink last summer

stupid grinch

sitting down by the red firelight
guess who's visiting tonight
the jolly elf we love the most
sliced real thin & served on toast

Meri Exmass

Christmas flash http://www.dailycabal.com/ Santa in the Time of Warming

Heau de heau heau

he's allus talkin bout dem
an he for sure know how to shake.
where he go that take so long?
he know which ones is naughty!

his old lady
she don't know
or don't care
them fiiine young elves
is dy-no-mite!
but now
she fixin to sheau

which reindeer are girls?

with reindeer extinct,
and the Arctic defrosted,
Santa turned to the noble
Norway rat to pull his sleigh
he saved money on fodder
laid off the elves
put the rats to work in the workshop
during the 364 day off-season

Blitzen woke up screaming
just a nightmare
Donner assured him

6,000,000,000--pick up the pace

They Call Him The Streak

There was an old elf at the Pole
whose job was excessively droll
he snoozed all the year
while his slaves made us gear
which he brought in one night at a stroll