122521c

gift cards hung
in the stockings with care
smart TV fire

111820b

 

minigator

drags a water strider down

Predator Pets

022420b

kids put sleeping pills
in Santa's glass of milk
Daddy all along

122519

Santa's last stand
against the rising sea
the flooded workshops
foundering into liquified permafrost
and all the world leaders
who did nothing while the world stewed
they'll find 3-day-old fish
in their stinking Xmas stockings
cos the coal is gone

122019

Another day, another daughter's birthday. So close to that big holiday everyone hates to have for a birthday. Close enough for combined presents to be a thing, but that has always been taken in good spirits.

121719

Santa floats down the few chimneys that remain. Elsewhere he jimmie's windows, oozes under doors. He carries a 3D printer on his back, festively red and green. The elves shiver in their picket lines.

121519b

Home from my first holiday dinner
of the season
grateful to have left the hospital
in time for fellowship among friends
wanting to pass this feeling along
to you

113019b

The tradition of roasting elves for Christmas dinner was widely thought to have been started by the turkeys. In reality, a renegade tribe of reindeer was responsible.

122518b

The chimney isn't drawing this morning. Like something's stuck in it. And that smell! Like a roast plus fur. You got something in the oven?

122617

elves slink back to their dens

the darkened workshop
home to ice roaches

when the ice cap breaks
they'll be out of luck
for 100,000 years

122517c

Christmas in the New World

Santa

a reanimated corpsicle

reindeer fertilized GMOva

VTOL sleigh

presents like you wouldn’t believe

122517b

It's 5 days post-Chanukah, just in time for Christmas. Both offspring were very pleased with what they got: success! Spouse still asleep, so that jury's still out. Hope all of you are celebrating with kith and kin.

122517

Santa in the time of warming

Santa checked his list a second time. Cargo on board, ship sealed, launch tube filled with water, pressure equalized. He was off.

As it cleared the sea surface, Santa's sleigh sprouted wings. Powerful engines coughed to life and plasma kissed the frigid Arctic water.

"Look ma! It's a flying fish!" "It's a plane!" "It's Santa Claus! " "Hush, children. Chew your blubber."

Acceleration pegged, he's fast. Damn fast. Actually, they call him the streak. You gotta admire his physique.

Santa fired up the Chronotron when he hit cruising altitude. Psychedelic colors out the wazoo. His sleigh fugued. S l e i g h s. T o y s t o o.

2048 Santas disbursed toys with manic speed. But for every stocking filled, 1.17 babies gave out their first cries.

10,000 elves worked for Polar Enterprises. World population growth had forced Santa into an "arms" race he could not win. Corners were cut.

"DaAaaAaD! Santa left me a game console carved from a bar of soap!" "Wadja expect for free?"

Presents rattled down the chimney. "Ho ho ho" blue-shifted into the supersonic shattered windows and the fish tank. "Sorry," drifted down.

Genevieve tore open the white package, ensanguined in the red-litten den."You shouldn't have!" Whips and cuffs: just what she'd asked for.

Unidentified blip, fighters scrambled, just after pilots smoked surprise holiday presents.

The jet fighters, their hash-powered pilots drifting in and out of consciousness, lost the rocket in a mysterious polar fog.

Plunging into the Arctic Ocean as dawn broke, Santa had one last gift in the back. Mrs. Claus did look good in Victoria's Secret. Ho ho ho!

end

122417c -- Merry Christmas

rapping on the housetop

Dad touches off the fire

in its den by the hearth

tomorrow we’ll buy

a new deep freeze

for now they’ll keep in the snow

122217

bah humbug
is outdated
the new version
is unprintable
but it goes
a little something like this:
@%&*)$#!!

121617b

it isn't time yet

putting off the cards

avoiding carols

presents have to be wrapped
before tiny hooves
dent the roof

121517c

Eight tiny reindeer. Barely enough to go around when all the children visit. Santa makes a note to schedule interviews for a new team.

A review of "The Edible Zoo"

I just discovered this review of my children's poetry book The Edible Zoo. It compares the book to the writing of Dr. Seuss

http://www.writersforum.org/news_and_reviews/review_archives.html/article/2012/12/17/the-edible-zoo

For those who don't know, The Edible Zoo consists of poems I wrote for my children and niecephews (11 in number), beginning when the eldest was about two years old. Earlier (and shorter) editions of this book were photocopied and distributed to my young relatives. Half a dozen copies of those early editions were sold to other people.

You can buy The Edible Zoo directly from me. $9 postpaid via PayPal from jopnquog@gmail.com.

120616b

talking cookies

all the rage this year

don't eat m

some beg to be consumed

some for their lives

111616

fog washes everything out
dimming yard, neighbors' house
red leaves on a post
too close for obscurity
glow like Christmas
already drenching stores