030920b

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a warthog walk into a bank. The warthog says "Ow!"

072419c

the speaker
electrified the audience
the late audience

091618

Remembeering Fido


outside of the hallucinogenic foliage
a dog-like fox is a human's best friend
inside the dream
vision clouds sight
we re-enact old jokes
and tales

021118c

a lightbulb burns out
in the forest and the book
is never finished

101917b

you will be glad to know


the bad-joke calendar
a good gift for me
the jokes are so bad
even I don't think they're funny
some are the one about…
some are puns that just punish
some depend on relationships that don't exist
one in 10 brings a chuckle
one in 50 makes other people laugh
7/365 ain't bad!

Common decency
not the fear of legal action
prevents me from reproducing
even the best of them here

090117

The Man With Two Thumbs

So this guy with two thumbs walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey!  You can't bring those things in here!"

Well, the first thumb says this is discrimination and it starts talking about class-action lawsuits and picketing and late-night visits from the middle finger and pretty soon it gets cited for disorderly conduct and hauled off to jail.

Meanwhile, the second thumb waits behind the bar in an alley with a couple of cans of gasoline and a book of matches from The Nether Digit, a nightclub on the other side of town, not just a nightclub, but a toe club, a place where you can have any  toes you want all night long, two at once, even, if you're surefooted enough, in those padded booths with the tasteful crimson and burgundy curtains.  And while the thumb is waiting for the last patrons to leave the bar, shrouded menacingly in a grease-stained overcoat, a big shaggy dog trots up and eats it.

PUBL. DAILY CABAL 2007

022417

Donald Trump at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter reads a list of Trump's moral transgressions. It takes about 99 years.

At the end, Trump says "Do I get the Presidential Suite?"

"You're fired!"

010917

judging from the records
we have found
this race committed mass suicide
after a series
of particularly tasteless jokes

tsk tsk

Blended zebras used to be 10 cents. And the comics were legible.