051420

High Tide

All the arms of the moon

gathered the plump round snails

it was time to bring them home

Each snail’s ribbon of teeth

sliced through the land

wind-tossed ribbons of forest

people flew up into the sky

mingling with the wood

after the storm a jackstraw world

pin oak woman, sweet gum man

standing in sleepy ranks

under a snail-full moon

021220b

"They" were giant snails, unstoppable in their adamantine shells, until they reached the Bonneville salt flats.

081219

a conch kangaroos 

across the flooded prairie 

snailboys ride

05319b

Snail Sailors

They blow their bubbles as the morning wind

rustles the sea oats on the crests of dunes;

they congregate on heights,

laboriously crawling to the wobbly tips of the giant grasses.

It takes them all night to get from the surf to the dune tops,

where they wait for the wind to build.

When it does, bubbles blown, they let go,

careering across the dry flats,

swaying like gondolas beneath county-fair balloons,

carried over the shimmering road, the

campsites in their meagre shade,

the steamy bay.

Landward they fly, grasping their

bubble-transports with their feet,

until they scent below them the cold aquamarine of lakes.

They release the balloons then, plummet earthward,

cannon-balling into the chilly waters,

vanguard of a strange invasion.

050219c

Limestone of the Knox Group, cross-section of a gastropod shell, mostly filled with lime mud (dark color like the surrounding matrix), remaining open space filled with calcite cement (clear and pink). Thin section, Kemper County Mississippi, approximately 3 miles below the surface.

031519

Mississippian fossil debris, including a possible strange cut through a gastropod (lower left) as well as bryozoan and echinoderm fragments. Fossil packstone, Bangor Limestone, Alabama. Thin section photomicrograph.

030519d

Thin section of a fossil snail. Bangor Limestone, Mississippian, Lawrence County, Alabama.

042718d

genius, they said

a chimera of snail and dragonfly
the last few humans

021518

Ranges and movement patterns of mid-Atlantic weresnails

In this study we identified weresnails in human form on the basis of two criteria: giant slime trails in their dwellings and nascent eye stalks on the days preceding a full moon. We followed human-form weresnails and used a modified tranquilizer gun to implant tracking devices on their shells at the onset of gastrothropy.

*

Gordon hurried home, dodging snow mounded up where the plows had left it. He did love her, desperately, but he had sworn never to bring a child into the world. He was afraid that his horror at what his curse would do to any offspring must have looked a lot like rejection of responsibility. She didn't know, and how could he explain now, when it was too late?

She had cooked a wonderful meal: clam chowder, a green salad, and a spry young California Merlot with an unexpected kick. Then she told him.

"I felt sick this morning.".

"I'm so sorry!" he replied, wondering at her odd expression. "You certainly shouldn't have cooked for me when you didn't feel well. You're feeling better?"

"For now. I don't know what will happen in the morning."

She finally had had to simply tell him. Then he gave her that look, and she bundled him out the door before he could think of how to explain.

*

The shells of the first three subjects shattered when struck by the tracking device. The tranquilizer gun had to be reduced in power by a factor of two before successful implantation was possible. Time and location data for three subjects were successfully collected for three lunar cycles. Figure 2 shows movements of all three subjects, superimposed on a high-resolution digital elevation model.

*

Gordon could not sit still. He walked, trying to believe his son or daughter would be normal. After all, the gastrothrope gene was recessive, so unless Rachel had snail blood, their children would look fully human. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello!"

"Rachel, listen. I was just so shocked, but I want..." Then Gordon paused, bathed in moonlight.

"Me too, and.... This morning you looked...terrified. You don't feel that way now, do you? Gordon?"

His cell phone shattered on the sidewalk as Gordon underwent a painful transformation made excruciating by the salty meltwater that covered the sidewalk and street.

*

Unfortunately for this study, an unseasonable snowfall and aggressive salt distribution by county road crews resulted in destruction of all remaining experimental subjects.

080817

Home ranges and habits of mid-Atlantic weresnails

In this study we identified weresnails in human form on the basis of two criteria: giant slime trails in their dwellings and nascent eye stalks on the days preceding a full moon. We followed human-form weresnails and used a modified tranquilizer gun to implant tracking devices on their shells at the onset of gastrothropy.

*

Gordon hurried home, dodging snow mounded where the plows had left it. He did love Elaine, desperately, but he had sworn never to bring a child into the world. He was afraid that his fear of what his curse would do to any offspring must have looked a lot like rejection. She didn't know, and how could he explain now, when it was too late?

Elaine had cooked a wonderful meal: clam chowder, a green salad, and a spry young California Merlot with an unexpected kick. Then she told him.

"I felt sick this morning.".

"I'm so sorry!" he replied, wondering at her odd expression. "You certainly shouldn't have cooked for me when you didn't feel well. You're feeling better?"

"For now. I don't know what will happen in the morning."

She finally had had to simply tell him. Then he gave her that look, and he ran.

*

The shell of the first subject shattered when struck by the tracking device. The tranquilizer gun had to be further modified before successful implantation was possible. Ultimately, time and location data for three subjects were successfully collected for three lunar cycles (fig. 1). Figure 2 shows movements of all three subjects, superimposed on a high-resolution digital elevation model.

*

Gordon could not sit still. He walked, trying to believe his son or daughter would be normal. After all, the gastrothrope gene was recessive, so unless Rachel had snail blood, their children would look fully human. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello!"

"Rachel, listen. I was just so shocked, but I want..." Then Gordon paused, bathed in moonlight.

"Me too, and.... This morning you looked...terrified. You don't feel that way now, do you? Gordon? Gordon?"

His cell phone shattered on the sidewalk as Gordon underwent a transformation made excruciating by the salty meltwater covering the ground.

*

Unfortunately, aggressive salt distribution by county road crews resulted in destruction of the three remaining experimental subjects. The study will resume, with new subjects, after the last frost date in the spring.

The end

when the city salted the streets he panicked.
At a rare October snowfall

October snow

the salted briny streets

weresnails writhe

Publ. Daily Cabal, 2009

061217c

With a Grain of Salt

Taffy had done 18 months for hijacking one of Peter Piper's trucks. Stole16 tons of pickled peppers (Why?! Who knows?). But Piper had a good alibi. He'd been home with his wife, eating pumpkin pie and playing cards with a couple of neighbors. So who killed a two-bit hood by ripping his throat out, dousing him with slime, and dumping him in Sir Reginald Thimble's flower bed? A similar murder in Dressmakers St. put me on the right track My client was a member of the notorious Tailor Gang At last everything was piecing itself together in my head.

*

Sir Reginald's front door was open. Running up the steps I slipped and landed hard. A trail of goo came up the drive and went through the door. I followed, and almost tripped over the butler. Crushed flat.

Three well-dressed victims had been smoking in a room off the main hall,.my client among them. Blood was everywhere. I stepped back out. A snail the size of a Volkswagen was coming up fast from the back of the house. I pulled a salt shaker out of my pocket and raised it high. The snail stopped in its trail.

“So it is down to me and it is down to you, Deadbolt,” the snail gurgled. I was surprised to hear a mollusk quoting “The Princess Bride.” Usually they go in for live theater when they seek entertainment.

“One question,” I said. It dipped an eye stalk “Why? Did the Tailors pay you to hit the Welshman? And if they did, why start killing them? You're a pro, not a garden-variety psycho.”

“You humanoids are all crooked. They put the hit on the little thief cos he was stupid enough to rip them off. Only an idiot steals from a syndicate.”

“You won't get an argument from me,” I said, “but what about the Tailors? Doing your civic duty?”

“Thread-biters didn't pay me.” It sounded outraged. “I let that get out, that people can push in my eyestalks, and I won't be eating.”

“Three square meals a day where you're going now,” I said, “you can thank me later.” Meanwhile, I had unscrewed the lid of the saltshaker. It would last until the cops got here with a couple of 25 pound sacks.

The end

This story is part of a series that was published as Nursery Rhyme Noir. The book is available here:

 

http://store.albanlake.com/product/nursery-rhyme-noir/ 

References

"Taffy"

http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/taffy.asp

"Peter Piper"

http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/peterpiper.asp

"Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater"

http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/peterpeter.asp

"The tailors and the snail"

http://www.rhymes.org.uk/a24-four-and-twenty-tailors.htm

040417c

Bug and Snail

Bending his eye stalks posteroventrally he peered into his mouth. Where had the critter gone?

A snail from the age of dinosaurs

Gyrodes, a steinkern. Imagine a snail, it dies and decays. The hotel fills with mud and the mud turns to stone. The shell dissolves away because it is made of the mineral aragonite, which dissolves pretty easily in water. What you have left is a steinkern.